Networking Sites: I Spit In Your General Direction (Rehashing Old Blogs)

I'm on Friendster and MySpace; a new found waste of time. I posted blogs on both sites and found it to be akin to mental masturbation. I eventually got fed up and posted pictures of people passed out from excessive drinking. I think I lack patience with these sort of things. I never really got into chatting either. I have better luck talking to people outside the realm of smilies and LOLs. It would be an interesting art project to pursue how our relationships have changed due to online networking sites like the aforementioned. I've noticed that some people act entirely different when they don't actually see the person.

Here's an old blog from my friendster account. This goes out to all the supposed 19 year old girls who crammed my message box with promises of pictures of me and my hot friends...

Art Snob's Guide to Blockbuster Video
Being part of a class-action lawsuit against Blockbuster was kinda rewarding. I got two free non-new release rentals! Wow-ee, it's time to go hog wild. Wait-a-minnit, this is going to be difficult. I never find anything there, due to my extreme whiteness and art-snobbery. I made a handy little checklist to help me weed out the bad stuff and help me slay the dragon faster. If you are like me and find yourself in a similar position, this may help you...


First let's cross off certain categories, this will save time walking around the store cutting down on nerve damage from that awful Dave Mathews blaring on the TVs. No Family Section, No General Interest (See there's only one copy of CRUMB, it's probably out, most of the docs are about 2 Pac or Wrestling), No Foreign (too lazy to read subtitles, besides I've seen all the Ingmar Bergman movies I can take).

OK, this leaves us with Comedy, Horror, Drama and Action

For action, stay away from these mainstays...(please forgive my spelling, I don't have time to check everyone on IMDB)

Silvester Stallone, Richard Greco, John Travolta (yes, he's not cool, he's notorious for picking bad projects), football stars turned actors, Steven Segal, cover girls holding guns showing their backside (aka booty), rappers, Kid Rock or the Rock, movies about cars, racing and/or bikes, Tom Cruise (one movie where he's palpable, Minority Report, I have yet to see Last Samurai, so if I'm at a friend's and all he's got is porn and that movie, I'll take my chances with the Last Samurai), Chuck Norris, Rutger Hauer, and Kurt Russel.

Art Snob OKs- Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, John Wayne, Chow Young Fat, Charlton Heston.

For Comedy, keep moving when you see...

Paulie Shore, rappers Dre and Snoop Dogg, most of the comedies from the 80's (check for old faded covers), movies that have anybody from the cast of "Friends", remakes from old TV show comedies, Woody Allen films after 1980.

Art Snob OKs - Steve Martin

Horror, keep clear of movies with 2,3, or 4 after the title (IE. Leprechaun 4, Halloween 3), and slasher flicks.

Art Snob OKs - I'm tempted to say nothing, the Vincent Price titles are somewhat entertaining. MGM puts out a series of "B" films that Blockbuster carries. Those are fun when you're loaded.

Drama is a crap shoot. The color of the box is very telling. The whiter the cover is, the more you can count on Emma Thompson popping up in it. Stay with chroma, especially reds.

Art Snob OKs - Directors Todd Solondz and Martin Scorcesse.

After I used my trusty Art Snob formula, I left the store with a film called "Man of the Century", it starred no one I know (which can be a good thing) and the critics like Ebert gave it the thumbs up (have you noticed the guy hardly pans a film). I watched 15 minutes and turned it off. It reminded me of a Saturday Night Live skit. A one-liner dragged out for way too long. Oh well, just forget everything I said.